I am super duper, extra special, out of this world excited to bring you the very first installment of the Keeping it Real panel! I introduced these awesome humans a few weeks ago, and today they are schooling us all on what real life looks like, un-curated and unfiltered.
Driven by a selfish desire to know if I’m actually failing at adulthood, or if everyone else is just supremely good at pretending on social media, I sent these wonder women a few questions. Here are their brilliantly relatable and hilarious responses!
Because, I really need to know how gross my habits are: how often do you guys wash your sheets?
I guess it works out to about every 2 months? That’s gross, I need to get my life together.
In the summer, once a month. The rest of the year, maybe 2-3 times total!
Once every few weeks, at best (I KNOW) unless they get a REALLY visible stain, then off they go!
Once a month. Considering my dog sleeps with my husband and I, I feel like that may be the wrong answer.
Once every 2 months? I think? I want to say it’s that but in reality it may be more like once every 3 months… unless I get sick and then I need to wash them right after I start feeling better.
Every other Tuesday, religiously. I’ve cancelled dates before for it.
Depends on how often I’m home… Sometimes I’m good at changing them every two or three weeks and sometimes I can’t remember the last time I washed them
I change them about once a month and actually wash them all when I’m forced to because have no more sets to use.
I have 2 sets of sheets that I alternate, so I change them maybe every 6-8 weeks. I make myself feel better about this because I only sleep at home 4-5 days each week.
Once every 2-2.5 weeks
This is embarrassing. Twice a month would have to be my average. I say this because I had to think long and hard about this. A good indicator that it’s not as often as I’d like. The kids sheets maybe once a week. This is not because I have my life together. This is because the stench of their feet rubbing off on the sheets eventually smacks me in the face when making their beds.
I’m pretty sure everyone on this panel is a GODDESS, because it’s like they answered my prayers. I was convinced that I was a particularly icky kind of monster because I don’t actually have a schedule. I wash my sheets when they seem dirty – no more, no less. I’d read one too many “better housekeeping”-esque articles that made me think my habits were abhorrent. Turns out, I’m not alone on two accounts. 1) Everybody has a different timeline and 2) Everyone who isn’t doing what “better housekeeping” says feels like they’re doing it wrong! I’m here to shout it from the mountain top. HOWEVER OFTEN YOU ARE WASHING YOUR SHEETS IS PROBABLY JUST FINE. Don’t feel bad about it, you do you!
Have you ever tried a DIY from Pinterest (or elsewhere on the interwebs) and failed miserably? If so, will you tell us a story about it?
Ugh I took chicken out to defrost with no plan for dinner. I searched Pinterest for an “easy” recipe at work, because I was planning on doing some housework when I got home. I found one that was basically chicken, rice, onion soup mix and water, and you just “toss it in the oven”. I am so obsessed with reading reviews and people’s tips and substitutions, etc… someone mentioned that they used brown rice. Deciding to be “healthy” (Bottles of wine and tacos are a healthy diet, right?), I decided to give the brown rice a whirl. Long story short, after baking and stirring, and adding water, and then just baking for way too long, the brown rice was still so goddamn crunchy. So I served my husband crunchy brown rice and a chicken hockey puck for dinner. Domestication at it’s finest.
Editor’s note: I would like to give the Drunk on Opportunity stamp of approval to the statement that “Bottles of wine and tacos are a healthy diet.” Yes, absolutely.
All the time! For a while I was really into painting, so I would constantly look up cute art projects to do for family and friends. Never ONCE did it turn out as it was supposed to! I would try to do things with my son’s footprints, and he would move. I would try to make skinny lines and the paint would bleed. It was never as easy as it looked! I’ve also done this with baking, and with house renovation/room decoration projects. I think Pinterest purposely tries to trick us by making things look easier than they are!
My sister gloriously recreated “Apple Roses” from off a Pinterest post, so I even knew it could happen in real life! Nevertheless, was left with cut up hands and some very un-rose-like (though still tasty) apple piles.
I once made home made funfetti cupcakes and icing. The icing was amazing. The cupcakes tasted like cardboard.
HAHAH Oh man I’m going to try to scour the internet for this picture. I one time tried to make these fun-fetti type cookies or brownies. I SUCK at cooking and I totally burnt them…and likely forgot an ingredient because the side by side of the Pinterest pic and my pic were unbelievably different.
Editor’s note: Shari, if you find that picture, please send it my way! (Also, someone should ask my mom about the time I tried to make buche de Noel for French class and *accidentally* doubled the number of eggs in the recipe…)
Yes, I tried these little painted mason jar flower pots. Made my bf at the time carry potting soil all the way from Chinatown to Bushwick. I thought I was being soooooo domestic. Paint came out horrible, seeds never sprouted – come to think of it that should’ve been the sign that relationship was doomed.
Yes! I tried to make this geometric cork board:
I lost a lot of battles, but ultimately won the war…I think. The directions said to “just paint hexagon-shaped cork tiles in your favorite colors, then hang them on the wall with removable adhesive strips.” So that is what I tried to do. However, before even getting it hung, the paint started to warp the top layer of the cork board so the pieces separated from themselves. After supergluing them back together, I tried to hang it on the wall with command strips. Did not work. Over the course of the next 2 weeks, I was consistently hit by rogue hexagons falling off the wall one by one. Finally, after trying every possible temporary fastening product, I gave up and nailed the pieces to the wall. With a nail on at least every other corner of each 6-pointed tile, you do the math on how many holes are now in my rented apartment wall….The cork board does look super cute though.
Not craft wise but I have tried some questionable outfit styling ideas that just don’t work on my body type.
I usually don’t attempt anything out of my skillset, haha.
Oh yes. Most include cooking fails. I know my role pretty well when it comes to crafts, so I choose accordingly. Criteria: 1. No more than 5 steps. 2. Can use my glue gun. I once made a Zucchini bread loaf that had a plethora of ancient grains and superfoods. As I was mixing in all of those magical ingredients, I peered into my future and saw a new me. I was wonderful! I’d soon have a cookbook titled “Recipes That Make You Healthy Overnight”. I even left out the agave because the “new” me doesn’t need sweet. WRONG. I mean, It was okay if you eat dirt. Anyway, I proceeded to feed it to the kids.
LOL! Y’all, I got such a kick out of reading these that I snorted (ok, I always snort when I laugh, but still)! There’s so much honest humanity in these responses. We try, we falter, we make the best of how things work out. We’re all just doing our best out here!
There’s so much more where this came from, but this post is getting looooong, so you’ll have to wait for the next episode. What questions do you all want the experts to answer? Post in comments!